DENIAL

“When in denial, you are anchored, and not able to make the changes to move forward.”

Geo, Mom , and I heard a talk by a man who is totally blind. He once was fully sighted, married and working at a successful career. Then retinopathy set in. He lost everything dear to him – his marriage, his home, his job, even his visually intensive hobbies. One thing he held onto was the expectation that his sight would return, or improve, or – in the least – not get any worse.

He was trained to use the red and white cane for the blind, but kept it in his pocket for two years. To use it would be to admit that he really needed it. So he bumped into obstacles and tripped over curbs. By denying the obvious, serious anxiety and depression set in.

Each morning he would orient himself by a light he left burning overnight in the kitchen. He would make his way from the bedroom and move toward the light. One morning, the light was not on, or so he thought. He found his way into the kitchen and reached up to the light bulb. It was hot. He was totally blind.

He had never thought of himself as “a blind person.” To move from the denial stage, his brain needed to reorient him to a new self-image. Only then could he accept blindness as a secondary circumstance of his life.

Not many of us are totally blind, but we do experience the anxieties and frustrations that come with the denial of difficult circumstances beyond our control. In a negative situation, we “hope” that things will get better, we “wish” that things will improve. We say something like, "If only ____________,
then I’d be successful, then I’d be happy and life for me would be good." Or we may tell ourselves that maybe the situation really isn’t so bad, and if I ignore it, it will just go away. We struggle. In any case, we’re in denial.

How did this person with blindness move beyond denial toward acceptance?

1) He made an effort to establish a social network, so he would not be isolated. He continually works at this.

2) He looked for any glimmer of “good” in his situation. Although he realistically admitted the “bad,” He kept expanding on any positive aspects until the positive was in greater proportion to the negative.

3) He developed a sense of humor.

4) He reached out for adventure. He tried new ways of adaptive living. He began enjoying more non-vision type activities in his current situation.

Interestingly enough, the more he came to embrace his loss of vision, he began to sense and appreciate in new ways the reality of what he lost. This is an outcome of an adaptive life-style.

By using an adaptive lifestyle we can create new successful ways of activity and experience. We continually expand our horizons and grow as persons, sharing positively with others.

For the speaker, he discovered for himself that the best part of his blindness is what it does for the sighted people he encounters. His answer, then, to “Why me?” is the good effect his circumstance has on others. In all humility, he admitted that blind people who have accepted and adapted can truly inspire others to live more fully.

So I could not help but think of the situations in my life where I am “in denial,” frustrated and anxious. Yes, there are those times…
Where can I admit what’s not working, expand on the possibilities in the situation, and ADAPT. What would be the results?

This talk gave me lots to think about, and Yes, I was truly inspired by this remarkable man who now has a new family and a new career. His success and achievements emerged from a bleak situation, but only when he moved beyond denial.

Retirement

This is Day 2 of Happy Retirement.
My laptop, two phones, and a lot of other stuff I needed to return has already been received in Boston. Everything accounted for. That’s a relief.
I wasn’t sure what retirement would feel like. Now I would say it feels a little like sending another kid off to college…I’ve lost some contact, the house seems empty (with laptop and a lot of office stuff gone), the phone’s not ringing nearly as often, and FREEDOM!
I think I’m going to like retirement!

Easiest Easter Cake Ever

For those of us planning Easter dinner, here's a recipe I just tried, and plan to repeat, for Easter - a light dessert after a hearty meal:

One box angel food cake mix
One 20 oz can of undrained crushed pineapple

Mix together for 1 minute. Pour into ungreased angel food cakepan.
Bake at 350 degrees for 35-40 minutes.
Turn upside down to cool, then release from the pan.

I am serving this with whipped cream and a sprinkle of coconut.

Adding a little rum for flavor, this Easter cake would become the Easiest Pina Colada Cake Ever.

On second thought, I just may bake the pina colada version for Easter!

March 26…

And it was my b’day.

Woke up to presents from the family, got a free cup of java at the local bank, and got my free B&J’s cone (raspberry ripple). With gift money from Mom, Geo directed me to the gardening shop where I walked out with a potted self-watering herb garden – cilantro, parsley, basil and rosemary.

J-Ro sent a bouquet with vase of multi-colored roses – what a sweet surprise from a sweet girl. She’s promised me that home-cooked Thai meal on her next visit!

Geo invited me to an evening concert of Shostokovitch and Messiaen – an ecstatic performance of violin, piano, clarinet, and (Geo’s favorite) the cello.

Addie invited me to a fun nite out (last nite) of Margueritas, appetizers and tacos.(Let's do this again!)

There’s a B&J ice cream cake still in the freezer…A fab way to begin a new year!

Thank you, Everyone!

Anniversary Week Adventure

This is the week of our wedding anniversary.

Tonight we had a juice glass that slipped into the garbage disposal. I tried getting it out with my bare hands, and when that was not successful, I decided that putting some kind of tool into the disposal would work a lot better. So I called Geo into the kitchen for help. Well, half an hour later, having tried a tweezers, a mini vise grip, a nutcracker, and even two sets of tongs from the barbeque, we were no closer to getting out that glass. I was getting very short-tempered, feeling quite desperate and defeated. It was really wedged in there.

“Let me see what I can do,” says Geo. “But you have to leave…”

Thinking the worst and hoping for the best, I left the room. I tried to warn him about that little button inside the disposal that turns the thing on…, but he kept saying, “You’re going to have to leave if I’m going to do this…” (A and J, does that sound familiar?)

A little while later I returned to the kitchen and looked inside the disposal. No juice glass! Wait, there were a lot of broken pieces in there. Geo solved the problem. He broke the glass. Now what! This situation called for the wet-vac. I dragged the thing in from the garage, plugged in the hose and turned it on. A huge cloud of brown dust blew into my face. Ugh!

As I vacuumed all the little shards of glass out of the disposal, it dawned on me that this is one example of what marriage is about. Little did I think walking down the aisle those many years ago that part of the romance of our lives would be figuring out how to retrieve stuff from a garbage disposal. But we did it! Together the two of us were successful. Problem solved. Life is good.

I love you, Geo. Happy Anniversary!

Retirement Party

Or, maybe I should say Pre-retirement Send-off – I’m still on the job and counting down…

“Let me buy you a drink” after our team training session turned out to be one fantastic surprise party with our team from all parts of VT. Darlene – NOT in training- appeared from the far north, and Carla came bearing balloons and flowers from the far south. She even presented me with a hand-knit doll of ME at work – computer, badge and all. (Carla, the only thing you left out was that mug of coffee that keeps me motivating!)

It was a fab party – I’m still psyched about it two days later. I never had a party like that (but then I never retired before!). We had beverages and non-stop appetizers all evening long. To have my teammates Carla and Maxine together with all of us – AND – the big boss from Boston to party, well, it was beyond amazing. I had a really great time. I will miss you guys, you’re the BEST!

Cyndy, a huge thanks to you and to co-conspirators Deb and Carole for putting all this together, and for the Beeauutiful card and verse – the orchid is my favorite flower, how did you know??

Hugs to all of you!

11 Super Foods

Geo emailed me a NY Times article about eleven nutritious foods that most of us aren't eating. The article named Nutritionist Jonny Bowden as the source.

Well, Geo, I actually am eating those eleven foods, or most of them - anyway. Although I haven't had sardines lately (health food in a can, according to Bowden), and I don't use turmeric too often.

So here they are:
Beets,
Cabbage,
Swiss chard,
Cinnamon,
Pomegranite juice,
Dried plums,
Pumpkin seeds,
Sardines,
Turmeric,
Frozen blueberries, and,
Canned pumpkin.

So here's my challenge to Geo: How about having Super Nutritious Snacks for our Super Bowl Party! Sardines may go well with rye bread and onions. Wash it down with a little pomegranite juice?

Anyway, it may be fun to get creative with a few recipes using super food and seasonings.

We usually have chocolate, and more chocolate, during each quarter.

Beets and cabbage, anyone?

The Yearbook

I came across one of my yearbooks the other day. I enjoyed going through it, recalling how things used to be. Our daughter Addie glanced at it and seemed impressed with all the signatures. Then she read, “To a nice kid, …”

“Kid?” and she began laughing hysterically.

I guess a twenty-something has a hard time imagining Mom as “kid.”

Funny thing, sometimes I feel like a kid. I just don’t tell anybody.

Jenn, Here are Those Holiday Recipes

PEPPERMINT BARK

1 12 oz pkg white chocolate chips
24 hard peppermint candies

Crush candies in ziploc bag. Pour into strainer to shake out tiny bits. Set aside larger pieces.
Line baking sheet with wax paper. Microwave chips at 70% power for one minute. Stir. Microwave an additional 10-15 secs until chips are melted. Spread on wax paper.
Put larger candy pieces into melted chocolate and press in. Let stand for 1 hr, then break into pieces and store at room temp in airtight container.


HOLIDAY SPARKLE COOKIES

1 refrigerated sugar cookie tub dough from the store
Red and green sprinkles

Preheat oven to 325 degrees.
From the dough, make 18 1 inch balls. Roll in sprinkles.
Set 2 inches apart on ungreased baking sheet.
Bake 14 - 16 minutes until edges are set and center is still soft.
Cool on racks.


CHOCOLATE LOGS

1 lb. powdered sugar
1 stick butter, melted
2 cups extra crunch peanut butter
4 cups rice krispies

Mix powdered sugar and butter with a spoon. Using your hands, mix in peanut butter and krispies. Pinch off and roll in hands to make thumb-size "logs."
Refrigerate 1 hour and spread with chocolate frosting.


ROCKY ROAD FUDGE

1 12 oz. pkg semisweet chocolate chips
1 can sweetened condensed milk
2 1/2 cups minimarshmallows
1 cup chopped walnuts or pecans

Line baking sheet with wax paper.
Combine morsels and milk. Microwave on high for 1 minute. Stir and microwave an additional 10-15 sec until melted.
Stir in all other ingredients. Drop by Tablespoon onto wax paper.
Refrigerate until firm.

Okay, Jenn, are those EZ, or what...

Becoming Holy

I heard someone speak about becoming holy, and he summed it up very simply:

"Do what you are supposed to be doing, when you are supposed to be doing it, in the way it is meant to be done."

Holiness is definitely a response to God's grace. This person gave a very down-to-earth way to respond. Sounds like a pretty good New Year's resolution for 2009.

Jenn's Chicken Alfredo, Variation on a Theme

Jenn, I've taken your amazing recipe and gave it a few modifications.

Judy, This one's for you:

1)Saute a few chicken breasts in olive oil, add a little water, cover and steam until almost done.
2)Add 1 can of cream of mushroom soup and a few chunks of cheese. Stir until well-blended.
3)THEN, pile a big bunch of fresh spinach leaves over all. Cover and cook until spinach is wilted into the sauce.
4)Stir in a dash of nutmeg (secret ingredient) for a flavor boost.
5)Serve over your choice of pasta (I used shells.)

So simple, soooo good!
I'd recommend a glass of white wine (we had apple cider) and a chocolaty dessert for one outstanding meal.

Thanks, Jenn, for the inspiration. (You know, this may work well with that left-over turkey!)

Our Weekend

Jenn and BF Sean came up for a weekend visit. Jenn came bearing tasty treats from The Cupcake Boutique where she's been working. We're enjoying a few dozen cupcakes, each one with a different flavor and icing. Absolutely gourmet cupcakes.
She and Sean shopped and prepared an outstanding meal of Chicken Alfredo, Jenn's very own recipe. Sean verifies that the recipe has undergone many transformations, and each time it just gets better. I'd say she has this one down to perfection, and I do hope she shares her recipe.
This was also shopping weekend. Geo is in the market for a new man-size leather reading chair. The choice has been narrowed down to a deep burgundy brown leather recliner, the color formerly called "Oxblood," and now "Newport". (I like "Oxblood" so much better.)
The big purchase will be made this week.
Addie met BF Zach's 'rents this weekend for the first time. They had a whirlwind visit with their son before heading back to Maine. She reports all went well.
And today Jenn and I went shopping for new outfits. She found exactly what she loved, and I have a new Take Mom out for a Night on the Town outfit, that will also work for a holiday party.
Soooo good to see Jenn and Sean again. Am Looking forward to being together again for Thanksgiving.