It was a delightfully hectic, whirlwind visit, and I loved every moment of it. Our daughter, son-in-law, the three-year-old and four month old grandsons came to celebrate an early Christmas with us.
Everyone had presents for everyone. Toys were spread across the living room floor, wrapping paper was flying everywhere, gifts were admired, and the baby smiled through it all. Perfect.
Our traditional lasagna Christmas Eve dinner made way for the ease of frozen stuffed shells with a jar of marinara sauce, topped with green pepper rings and a little extra Provolone cheese. Perfect.
The three- year- old, we were told, has had some fears of real dogs. However, it wasn't long before he and Stella became friends. He even shared his gift and a toy with her. When the family was ready to return home, and the kids were tucked into their car seats, I leaned into the car and said to our grandson, "We love you!" He looked at me with a big smile and said, "I like Stella." Perfect.
Cancer is again rearing its ugly head. Ugh! You go through the usual emotions. First is somewhat of a disbelief - "This can't be happening; I've gone through this already." But you know there is always the possibility of a recurrence. There's disappointment, some sadness and worry, with a little anxiety around the edges. Never anger. My friend is angry. I said, "I'm glad you've got that covered."
Then there's some physical discomfort that tells me, yes, this is really happening.
I've had some time to process my thoughts before the upcoming surgery. I remember that just over two years ago, when I was going through chemo, I felt I needed something in my life to reach into the future, kind of a new goal. For me it was running.
Today I went out for a run. It wasn't long and it wasn't far, but it was a real run. And it felt soooo good. So I know that running better and stronger continues to be my goal.
I reflect on all the good that has happened over the past few years - people I've met, new experiences, new events.
I learned first-hand what chemo is all about with an amazing staff at the Medical Center who made it feel almost like spa treatments.
I went to oncology rehab. That was a real game-changer for me. That is where I began to believe that I could be a runner.
There are the 5Ks I ran, one with our daughter Addie (who did a 10K).
There were the cancer conferences I attended with other people battling this disease and with medical staff and various support groups.
There was the Weekend of Hope in Stowe that I attended with Geo that was just fun and entertaining.
Knowing friends and acquaintances who have had cancer... Well, there is something of a bond there, an understanding. I've heard it said that it's like belonging to a club no one wants to join.
Then there is growth in faith. One learns to reach really deep to find an inner basis on which to stand and thrive.
Most of all, there is the never-ending love of God and of family that continually astounds me. How can we be so blessed?
And right up there is the support of friends and of people I hardly know, and even may not know at all, who are praying up a storm.
I have met so very many inspiring people through this journey.
Truly I am grateful.
So I am as ready as I can be to move ahead. I am hopeful and confident. As one of my friends said, "We'll get through this."
#CancerBeGone
