At the outset I felt really disappointed, that plans for 2019 would not happen as I had wanted and expected. This morning I thought about this and my journey, as I reflected on today's reading in the Magnificat booklet. What caught my attention was from Psalm 84: "They are happy, whose strength is in you... As they go through the Bitter Valley they make it a place of springs... They walk with ever growing strength."
Yeah, I'd call it a Bitter Valley what I've been experiencing, however, not nearly as bitter as so many others go through during life. It becomes so easy to be frustrated and sad and feeling sorry for self and to question "Why?" And maybe not come up with any satisfying answers to that why. I will say that I've been trying to make my situation "a place of springs." It takes perseverance to become still and to reach deep to find that inner joy that never ever really leaves and to let that joy take over, not the bitterness or discouragement or disappointments along the way. Joy makes a huge difference.
I am convinced I could not make it on this journey alone. Reaching out for help, support, and prayer takes a toll on my pride and independence, but that's been a very good thing. One of the best gifts is that many acquaintances have become true friends. And empathy, especially with those diagnosed with cancer, has given me a newly discovered purpose. Spiritually, I've experienced a connectedness with others in a way that I can better understand what it means to be part of the Body of Christ. My faith community is family, and that includes the saints who intercede for us. The Spirit of our loving God is very much alive and active in this family.
Running has taught me that we can do so much more that we think we can. When it becomes hard, and the finish is still ahead, it becomes, "left foot, right foot, left foot, right foot..." It takes mental as well as physical strength. As training continues and the weeks go by, speed and endurance improve, as does a sense of well being. "They walk (and run!) with ever growing strength." So it is on the journey through the valley. Some days it is a determined "left foot, right foot," until we progress through it. I am still on the way.
They are happy, whose strength is in you, who have set
their hearts on pilgrimage. Psalm 84:5
